Posted: February 7, 2009 in Uncategorized

As I was driving home this evening from work I was sitting at the traffic light waiting for my light to turn so that I could continue my drive home. Finally the light goes green and I lift my foot from the brake to the move it to the gas.  As my foot touches the gas pedal ever so lightly, and begin to press down. Thwack!  My heart skips a beat and my mind races to what just happened.  A bird drop a huge load dead in front of me on the windshield.  Blindsided by the unseen bird flying by at the exact right moment.

It was a fitting end to a day that blindsided me like none other than I have had in recent past. I wish that I could say I have figured it all out, but I haven’t.  A couple of days my supervisor emails me and said that she was coming down to my office.  This is a little unusual, as she has not frequently come down without a particular reason since her office is two hours away.  In the pit of my stomach I thought that something was up, but dismissed it as normal.

She comes down along with my teammates supervisor.  A few minutes before I am suppose to meet with my supervisor my teammate and his supervisor walk into her office. A few minutes later they walk out and my teammates supervisor tells me that mine wants to talk to me.  I go in at our regular scheduled time and sit down. After a few minutes of cheat chat, she lays it on me.  They just cut my teammates position.  And the other shoe, I get his workload back on me.

This is a position that I once had.  But I must admit that I had thought that I had gotten beyond that position, and more importantly the work load.  But now for nothing more than financial reasons the position was cut, but not the work.  So now I have double the responsibilities. 

The company treated my partner well, giving him the option to transfer into other departments where there was a need. Which I am thankful for.  I am trying to process it all and I guess I will have to figure it out over the weekend because I take on his responsibilities first thing Monday morning.  A couple of trusted friends have given sound advice that is good advice. A trusted friend said don’t take it personally.  My wife has said be thankful that you have a job.  Both true, wise and sound advice.  But the thing that I am honest struggling with is the reward for doing good work, the expectation that you will continue to do even more good work.

I guess that over the weekend I will be thinking about what to do from here.  All day I focused on getting through the day, processing what had happened, keeping my mouth shut so that my emotions did not overtake my logic and I do something that I regret. I guess that I will be processing it throughout the weekend.  More to come……

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