The Eulogy
Today we are gathered to see goodbye to this woman who touched so many lives. Who gave her life to those children who were lost in this society. Children that found no welcome, no love and no protection from this world. But in this woman who we mourn the loss of today, those children found more love than one would think humanly possible. Today I come to say goodbye to Ms. Amanda, as one of those children who can testify first hand to her unconditional love.
Once some years ago I sat down with Ms. Amanda, as she was referred to by so many, and asked her why she was doing what she was doing and why she cared. As so many of us do when we ask a question of another human being; we already have our preconceived answer in our head. The answer I had formulated had absolutely nothing to do with who Ms. Amanda was. The answer that we always have in our own minds is formed and shaped by our own history, our own struggles, our own pains and hurts. We ask why that other person is doing what they do but we answer ourselves and fight accepting that person’s answer. As I said, I asked Ms. Amanda why and the answer that I had in my head ranged from the strange to absurd.
When I asked her the question the first answer that I considered was that she had to be getting paid for doing what she did. That was the most logical solution as there had to be an ulterior motivation, and of course that would be money. Being someone who grew up without money it was the great motivator in my life, at the time I asked the question. Of course the logic was that if she was being well paid for what she was doing then she did not care at all. Then she was like everyone else in the world driven by the all mighty dollar. Now the reality of that answer did not take very long to evaporate. If anyone here ever rode in Ms. Amanda’s car you could quickly see that money was not going there. Her car got her from point A to point B and nothing more. The clothes and accessories she wore were always in style but never the largest name brand. Never, and I mean never, did you ever see a tag from Neman Marcus, Gucci, or Macy’s stores on anything Ms. Amanda ever owned. So quickly the answer of Ms. Amanda being financially compensate as a motivation for why she was doing what she does vanished.
So if there was no money compensation being give to her then what could be the answer to my question. The next logical step to take to achieve an answer to my question about Ms. Amanda was she was one of those. I think everyone knows who I refer too by those. You have seen them on the television news, in newspapers and portrayed in movies. Those adults who have ulterior motives that are sick, evil and despicable to the sense of normal decent human beings. Those that are in movies as monsters who steal children away from their parents and abuse and mistreat them are those that I refer to. We have all seen the news reports and the made for television movies about stories of the horrible things human beings do to children; so I will not horrify us and traumatize us with a recanting of those stories. As soon as I put up this hypothesis about Ms. Amanda I scared myself with the possibility that the theory might actually be true. My mind began to put together scenarios where she could have the opportunity to kidnap, poison or even murder me. As I almost reached the point of wetting my pants I began to realize that she already had the opportunity to do all of those and yet I was still there, unharmed. I had ridden in Ms. Amanda’s car with just her and I; and yet I made it to my destination. I had shared meals with Ms. Amanda and had suffered no adverse ill effects for the event. And never, and I mean at no time, had Ms. Amanda harmed even one hair on my head. And I know I had given her plenty of reasons to smack me upside my head.
If she wasn’t helping me in order to get rich and she wasn’t apparently there to harm me, why then was she helping me? I still didn’t have an answer to my question, why was she helping me and why did she care? Time went by and I never received a verbal answer to my question. Even thought I never received my answer the kindness, love, care and concern never ceased to be given to me.
After many years had gone by my desire to have my question answered overtook me and I asked Ms. Amanda again, why did she do all those things for me and why did she care? This time she gave me my answer; and it was so simple and so logical it blew me away. What she shared with me changed my life in more ways than one.
Ms. Amanda said that a long time ago there was a man who died. But the reason he died was because he loved Ms. Amanda so much that he gave his own life for her. And Ms. Amanda had accepted that sacrifice for her sake and for her life. Since she had accepted this man’s death on her behalf so Ms. Amanda decided that the least she could do was to live for him. To live the life not that Ms. Amanda would choose or how she would live but to live the life that he would have if he didn’t have to die for her. After she shared this she leaned over next to me, she looked around the room as to see if anyone was around who could hear the secret she was about to tell me. When she was sure no one would hear she whispered the secret into my ear. She said that she wanted to live her life for this man but she had her own secretive, selfish reason for doing everything she does. I could have jumped out of my skin! Finally I was going to know the real reason Ms. Amanda did what she always had done for me and others. I listened with excited anticipation. Ms. Amanda whispered to me that even thought she had lived her life for this man she did have a selfish reason. Ms. Amanda told me that one day she was going to meet this man and she was going to live in his kingdom for all time. And as much as she wanted to be there with him, she wanted everyone she could to be there too and live in happiness with her and this man. So she said she spent her entire life helping as many people to know the love that this man had not only for Ms. Amanda but the love that he had for everyone including me! She said that she had found happiness and wanted everyone she met to know this happiness so that everyone could go and live with this man for all time.
I asked my question of Ms. Amanda for the first time when I was six year s old and the second time when I was eighteen years old. For twelve years Ms. Amanda showed me the answer to my question in everything she did. But she was a good social worker, and never once did she ever mention the name of this man. But for the twelve years that I was in the foster care system I knew his love in everything she did, without her ever saying a word. Shortly before I turned eighteen Ms. Amanda found me a family that opened their homes and hearts to me. This family adopted me three days before I turned eighteen and the foster care system would have turned me out on the streets. This was the family that for the first time, all be it years later, I would call mom and dad and mean it.
Well this family was a church going family, and they took me every Sunday. And it was two years after I last saw Ms. Amanda that I sat in the church listening to the preacher. My mind a million miles away thinking about the fun I had with my friends the Saturday night before. It was this fun that was kept me out too late, and was making it difficult to stay awake during the church service. But stay awake I did, and a few of the preacher’s words made it into my head. And those words were words that changed my life. The preacher spoke of living our lives showing the love of Jesus. And has he went on talking about what that look liked, my attention began to focus until I sat on the edge of my seat hanging on his every word. Every time he mentioned the kindness, and loving acts that Christians should do he described Ms. Amanda. With every example, with every illustration he described her further and further. My mind was racing, I was sure that there was smoke coming out of my ears. I would occasionally glance over at my parents and they would look at me, and then I caught the eyes of my father. He didn’t say a word, he just looked at me and smiled, then nodded. He knew at that moment what I was thinking.
When that preacher got done speaking and began the invitation I looked at my father and he looked at me and smiled. I stood up and he stood with me. Then we walked down the aisle and with each step I took more tears began to well up in my eyes. When we reached the preacher I looked at him and couldn’t say a word. He knew who I was, and how I came to be a part of my family. After he prayed for a moment, I interrupted him and told him that I wanted to accept this love, as I had already met the man. After the church service, and over the next years I shared with the pastor and others my testimony. I shared how the love of Christ had been shown to me for twelve years in the actions of Ms. Amanda.
Now today we are here to say goodbye to this woman who lived her life in love, living not the life that she would choose, or the lifestyle one would create. But the life that Jesus would have lived if he walked in her shoes, because to me Jesus did walk in her shoes. And Ms. Amanda you may have never known it but you lived your life As Jesus would have. And because you lived your life the way that you did choosing to show the love of Jesus Christ to a lost little boy I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that you are at this very moment living in his kingdom. And I know that beyond a shadow of doubt because of your acts of love I will one day come to live with you in the kingdom of our savior.
How do you give a eulogy for a woman like Ms. Amanda? You cannot with words. But you can carry on her mission, to live a life so that everyone you know will have the chance to one day to meet Ms. Amanda in the kingdom of this man. And say to her thank you.
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